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..Below are daily field notes and a difficulty scale, documenting what happened to my body and mind when it was deprived of its singular evolutionary purpose.Not Masturbating Difficulty Scale (0-10)0 - mastur-what?1 - oh, masturbation2 -i guess that could be fun3 - sounds really cool, but i’m busy4 - man, must be nice to be able to masturbate5 - i would really rather not be not masturbating6 - i’m a fuc*ing idiot7 - why on God’s green earth am i doing this to myself?8 - i need to explode ASAP9 - my penis is sending death threats to my brain10 - i want to put my semen in everythingDay 1Day 1 was quite easy. Like a New Year’s Resolutions in January, I was so filled with purpose that I breezed through the day without significant temptation. I did hear a hip-hop song with the lyric “grab your business,” which reminded me of the experiment and led to ever so slight arousal.Difficult Rating: 2Day 2Today was slightly more difficult, but still easy. My usual masturbation , of like 2-3 times a. "I know one young lady who's no longer a virgin." Ooh!" cried Victoria. "I do like your hair. Very smart." Thank you, darling. I'm going to go and get lunch ready."Victoria followed her out. Mark stayed at the piano and tried to play Clair de Lune from memory, failing miserably. He followed them into the kitchen."Is it all right if I have a mug of beer, Mum?" Of course it is, darling. Help yourself."They chatted happily. David appeared and went straight off to change. He disappeared immediately after lunch as he had to pick up a couple of the team on the way to the match. Mark and Victoria followed half an hour later, taking deckchairs with them. They found a spot in the shade of a beech tree and had a blissful afternoon keeping an eye on the cricket but mostly talking quietly together, squeezing each other's hand from time to time.They helped Elspeth and the other women set up tea. Victoria met the famous Mrs Grimthorpe and thought she was a sweet, motherly soul. They did not stay.
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